The best DBA quotes of all time

  1. It’s working perfectly as designed 1895j22-accident-at-the-gare-montparnasse[1]
  2. We don’t use primary keys keys because they slow down the ETL load
  3. We don’t use foreign keys because we handle all the validation with scripts
  4. This is an anomaly in the data which will be fixed at some point in time
  5. I can do that with Excel in two weeks*
  6. Why do you want a primary key, anyway?

*This was actually a CFO, not a DBA…